So a while ago, I tried an experiment. Forone year, I would say yes to all the things that scared me. Anything that mademe nervous, took me out of my comfort zone, I forced myself to say yes to. DidI want to speak in public? No, but yes. Did I want to be on live TV? No, butyes. Did I want to try acting? No, no, no, but yes, yes, yes.
一段时间前我做了一项实验 在整整一年里 我要去做所有使我害怕的事 使我紧张 不舒服的事 我都强迫自己说好的 我会去做 我想在公共场合下演讲吗 不 但我要去做 我想上电视直播吗 不 但我要去做 我想尝试表演吗 不不不 但我一定要去
And a crazy thing happened: the very act ofdoing the thing that scared me undid the fear, made it not scary. My fear ofpublic speaking, my social anxiety, poof, gone. It's amazing, the power of oneword. "Yes" changed my life. "Yes" changed me. But therewas one particular yes that affected my life in the most profound way, in a wayI never imagined, and it started with a question from my toddler.
然后神奇的事情发生了正是因为我做了这些令我害怕的事使我不再害怕 使这件事不再可怕 我对公共演讲的恐惧 我的社交焦虑症都消失了 一个词的力量居然如此惊人 “可以！”改变了我的生活 “可以！”改变了我 但有一个特别的“可以” 对我的生活有着最深刻的影响 以一种我从未想过的方式 一切从我学步的孩子的一个问题开始
I have these three amazing daughters,Harper, Beckett and Emerson, and Emerson is a toddler who inexplicably refersto everyone as "honey." as though she's a Southern waitress.
我有三个宝贝女儿 她们是哈珀 贝克特和爱默生 爱默生只是一个还在学步的小孩 他还不知为何要叫每个人“亲爱的” 就像个南方的女服务员一样
"Honey, I'm gonna need some milk formy sippy cup."
The Southern waitress asked me to play withher one evening when I was on my way somewhere, and I said, "Yes."And that yes was the beginning of a new way of life for my family. I made a vowthat from now on, every time one of my children asks me to play, no matter whatI'm doing or where I'm going, I say yes, every single time. Almost. I'm notperfect at it, but I try hard to practice it. And it's had a magical effect onme, on my children, on our family. But it's also had a stunning side effect,and it wasn't until recently that I fully understood it, that I understood thatsaying yes to playing with my children likely saved my career.
有天晚上这个南方女服务生要我陪她一起玩当时我正在去某个地方的路上我回答“可以“ 而这声”可以“是我们家庭新生活的开始 我从那时起发誓 每次我的孩子邀我一起玩耍 无论我正在干什么或正在哪里 我都会同意 每一次 大多数时候可以 我不能做到完美 但我十分努力的去达到 同时这对我也有这神奇的影响 对我的孩子们 对我的家庭 但这也有一个极好的副作用 我最近才完全明白 我明白了对我的孩子们说我可以和他们一起玩 很有可能拯救了我的工作
See, I have what most people would call adream job. I'm a writer. I imagine. I make stuff up for a living. Dream job.No. I'm a titan. Dream job. I create television. I executive producetelevision. I make television, a great deal of television. In one way oranother, this TV season, I'm responsible for bringing about 70 hours ofprogramming to the world. Four television programs, 70 hours of TV --
你看我有一个被大多数人理想职业的工作我是一名作家 我想象 我靠创作为生 理想职业 不 我是一个巨人 理想职业 我编写电视剧 我执行制作电视剧 我创作电视剧而且是非常大量的 无论如何，这一电视季 我负责带来70小时的节目面向全世界 四个电视节目 70小时
Three shows in production at a time,sometimes four. Each show creates hundreds of jobs that didn't exist before.The budget for one episode of network television can be anywhere from three tosix million dollars. Let's just say five. A new episode made every nine daystimes four shows, so every nine days that's 20 million dollars worth oftelevision, four television programs, 70 hours of TV, three shows in productionat a time, sometimes four, 16 episodes going on at all times: 24 episodes of"Grey's," 21 episodes of "Scandal," 15 episodes of"How To Get Away With Murder," 10 episodes of "The Catch,"that's 70 hours of TV, that's 350 million dollars for a season. In America, mytelevision shows are back to back to back on Thursday night. Around the world,my shows air in 256 territories in 67 languages for an audience of 30 millionpeople. My brain is global, and 45 hours of that 70 hours of TV are shows Ipersonally created and not just produced, so on top of everything else, I needto find time, real quiet, creative time, to gather my fans around the campfireand tell my stories. Four television programs, 70 hours of TV, three shows inproduction at a time, sometimes four, 350 million dollars, campfires burningall over the world. You know who else is doing that? Nobody, so like I said,I'm a titan. Dream job.
三个秀同时制作有时甚至四个 每一个秀都带来了上百个之前不存在的任务 一集网络电视的预算 在三百万到六百万美元之间 假如说是五百万 一部剧放九个晚上 乘以四部剧 所以每九天的电视剧值两千万 四个电视节目 70小时 三个秀同时制作 有时甚至四个 每时每刻都有16集直播 24集的《实习医生格蕾》 21集的《丑闻》 15集的《逍遥法外》 10集的《隐情》 总共70小时 也就是每季3.5亿美元 在美国 我的电视剧 在星期四的晚上一个接一个 我的电视剧在全球256个地区 以67种语言放映着 拥有者三千万观众 我的大脑是全球的 那70小时中有45小时是我本人创作的 而且不止是制作 我负责着所有事 我需要挤出时间 那种安静而适合创作的时间 来和我的粉丝们聚在一起围坐在篝火旁 讲我的故事 四个电视节目 70小时 三个秀同时制作 有时甚至四个 3.5亿美元 星火在世界各地燃烧着 你们还知道有谁在做这样的事吗 没有人 就像我说的 我是个巨人 理想职业
Now, I don't tell you this to impress you.I tell you this because I know what you think of when you hear the word"writer." I tell you this so that all of you out there who work sohard, whether you run a company or a country or a classroom or a store or ahome, take me seriously when I talk about working, so you'll get that I don'tpeck at a computer and imagine all day, so you'll hear me when I say that Iunderstand that a dream job is not about dreaming. It's all job, all work, allreality, all blood, all sweat, no tears. I work a lot, very hard, and I loveit.
在这里 我不是为了让你们佩服我而讲这个故事 我告诉你们是因为我知道 当你们听到”作家“这个词后在想什么 我告诉你们因为每个人在外打拼都很辛苦 无论你是经营一家公司 或一个国家或一间教室 或一个商店或一个家庭 当我讲工作的时候 请认真对待 你会了解我并不是整天坐在电脑前天马行空 你会明白当我说 理想职业并不仅仅是去想象 这是一份工作 是现实 有血有汗 不能流泪 我非常努力的工作 我热爱它
When I'm hard at work, when I'm deep in it,there is no other feeling. For me, my work is at all times building a nationout of thin air. It is manning the troops. It is painting a canvas. It ishitting every high note. It is running a marathon. It is being Beyoncé. And itis all of those things at the same time. I love working. It is creative andmechanical and exhausting and exhilarating and hilarious and disturbing andclinical and maternal and cruel and judicious, and what makes it all so good isthe hum. There is some kind of shift inside me when the work gets good. A humbegins in my brain, and it grows and it grows and that hum sounds like the openroad, and I could drive it forever. And a lot of people, when I try to explainthe hum, they assume that I'm talking about the writing, that my writing bringsme joy. And don't get me wrong, it does. But the hum -- it wasn't until Istarted making television that I started working, working and making andbuilding and creating and collaborating, that I discovered this thing, thisbuzz, this rush, this hum. The hum is more than writing. The hum is action andactivity. The hum is a drug. The hum is music. The hum is light and air. Thehum is God's whisper right in my ear. And when you have a hum like that, youcan't help but strive for greatness. That feeling, you can't help but strivefor greatness at any cost. That's called the hum. Or, maybe it's called being aworkaholic.
当我为之奋斗沉浸其中的时候 我不会有其他的感觉 对我来说 我的工作是 我在这庞杂世界之外的一片乐土 是管理军队 是在帆布上作画 是高声歌唱 是跑马拉松 是成为碧昂斯 工作使我能够同时去做这么多事情 我爱我的工作 它是有创造性的，也是千篇一律的 它是折磨的，也是身心愉悦的 它有时逗人发笑，有时令人分神 它有时不通人性，有时充满母性光辉 它有时残酷，有时精明 使得工作如此美妙是这种充实感 当工作进展顺利的时候 我会感到体内有些变化 这种充实感在我脑中产生 然后逐渐变大 它听起来像是开阔的公路 我好像可以在上面行驶到永远 当我尝试去向别人解释这种充实感的时候 很多人以为我指的是写作 写作带给我快乐 当然 写作确实给我带来快乐但不是那种感觉 在我进入电视行业后才开始 我开始工作 包括制作 建造 创作以及和别人合作 才感受到这种快乐 这种冲击 这种充实感 这种充实感不只局限于写作 它是一种行动，一种瘾药 它是音乐，是光和空气 它是上帝在我耳边的轻语 当你体会到这种充实感的时候 你停不下来，直到做到最好 这种使你不愿停下无论如何也要做到最好的东西 就是我说的充实感 或者 它也被叫做工作狂
Maybe it's called genius. Maybe it's calledego. Maybe it's just fear of failure. I don't know. I just know that I'm notbuilt for failure, and I just know that I love the hum. I just know that I wantto tell you I'm a titan, and I know that I don't want to question it.
或许会被叫做天才或许会被叫做自我或许仅仅被叫做惧怕失败我不知道 我只知道我不是为失败而生的 我只知道我喜欢充实 我只知道我想要告诉你我是一个巨人 而且我知道这是毋庸置疑的
But here's the thing: the more successful Ibecome, the more shows, the more episodes, the more barriers broken, the morework there is to do, the more balls in the air, the more eyes on me, the morehistory stares, the more expectations there are. The more I work to besuccessful, the more I need to work. And what did I say about work? I loveworking, right? The nation I'm building, the marathon I'm running, the troops,the canvas, the high note, the hum, the hum, the hum. I like that hum. I lovethat hum. I need that hum. I am that hum. Am I nothing but that hum?
但另一方面我越成功 做出越多电视节目、剧集 当我克服越多的障碍 我就会有越多的工作要做 有更多的事务要处理 越来越多的眼睛看着我 越来越多的历史摆在我面前 越来越高的期望等待着我 我的工作做得越好 我就越需要去工作 我刚才是怎么谈论工作的 我说热爱工作 对吧 这个我正在建造的帝国 我正在跑的马拉松 这些军队 帆布画 高歌 这充实感 这充实感 这充实感 我喜欢这种充实感 我热爱这种充实感 我需要这种充实感 我就是这种充实感 除了它我还有别的吗
And then the hum stopped. Overworked,overused, overdone, burned out. The hum stopped.
然后这种充实停止了过度工作 过度使用 过度劳累 燃烧殆尽了 这种充实停止了
Now, my three daughters are used to thetruth that their mother is a single working titan. Harper tells people,"My mom won't be there, but you can text my nanny." And Emerson says,"Honey, I'm wanting to go to ShondaLand." They're children of atitan. They're baby titans. They were 12, 3, and 1 when the hum stopped. Thehum of the engine died. I stopped loving work. I couldn't restart the engine.The hum would not come back. My hum was broken. I was doing the same things Ialways did, all the same titan work, 15-hour days, working straight through theweekends, no regrets, never surrender, a titan never sleeps, a titan neverquits, full hearts, clear eyes, yada, whatever. But there was no hum. Inside mewas silence. Four television programs, 70 hours of TV, three shows inproduction at a time, sometimes four. Four television programs, 70 hours of TV,three shows in production at a time ... I was the perfect titan. I was a titanyou could take home to your mother. All the colors were the same, and I was nolonger having any fun. And it was my life. It was all I did. I was the hum, andthe hum was me. So what do you do when the thing you do, the work you love,starts to taste like dust?
现在我的三个女儿已经接受了这个事实她们的妈妈只是个工作上的巨人哈珀告诉别人 “我妈妈不会过来的， 但你可以发短信给我的保姆。“ 爱默生说：“亲爱的， 我想去ShondaLand（演讲者拥有的制作公司）。“ 她们是巨人的孩子 她们就是宝宝巨人 当这充实感停止时她们分别是12,3和1岁 充实感不再被启动 我不再热爱工作 不能再重新感受到它 这份充实感回不来了 我的充实感被打破了 我一直在重复着同样的工作 一直都是 同样繁重的工作 每天15小时 周末也如此 没有后悔 没有投降 巨人从不休息 从不退出 全心全意 一往无前 这些有的没的 但我再也没有那种充实感了 我的内心空空如也 四个电视节目 70小时 三个秀同时制作 有时甚至四个 四个电视节目 70小时三个秀同时制作 我曾是那个完美的巨人 我曾是那个你可以带回家见妈妈的那个巨人 所有的颜色都没有变 但我再也不能从中获得乐趣。 这曾是我的生命 是我所做的所有 我曾是这充实感 这充实感也曾是我 那么当你所做的一切 所爱的一切 变得像土一样乏味 你会做什么
Now, I know somebody's out there thinking,"Cry me a river, stupid writer titan lady."
But you know, you do, if you make, if youwork, if you love what you do, being a teacher, being a banker, being a mother,being a painter, being Bill Gates, if you simply love another person and thatgives you the hum, if you know the hum, if you know what the hum feels like, ifyou have been to the hum, when the hum stops, who are you? What are you? Whatam I? Am I still a titan? If the song of my heart ceases to play, can I survivein the silence?
但是你知道你一定知道 如果你创作 如果你工作 如果你热爱你所做的事情 当一名老师，一名银行家 一位母亲，一名画家 亦或是比尔盖茨 如果你只是简简单单地爱一个人 而且那让你感受到充实感 如果你知道这充实感 如果你知道充实是什么感觉 如果你曾经那样充实过 当这充实停止时 你是谁 你是什么 我是什么 我还是一个巨人吗 如果我心中的乐曲停止了演奏 我能否在这死寂中存活呢
And then my Southern waitress toddler asksme a question. I'm on my way out the door, I'm late, and she says, "Momma,wanna play?"
然后我的“南方服务生”宝贝问了我一个问题我当时正要出门 快要迟到了 她说 “妈妈，一起玩吗？”
And I'm just about to say no, when Irealize two things. One, I'm supposed to say yes to everything, and two, mySouthern waitress didn't call me "honey." She's not calling everyone"honey" anymore. When did that happen? I'm missing it, being a titanand mourning my hum, and here she is changing right before my eyes. And so shesays, "Momma, wanna play?" And I say, "Yes." There'snothing special about it. We play, and we're joined by her sisters, and there'sa lot of laughing, and I give a dramatic reading from the book Everybody Poops.Nothing out of the ordinary.
当我正要说不的时候我突然意识到两件事第一件事 我应该对所有事说可以 第二件事 我的”南方服务生“没有叫我“亲爱的” 她不再叫任何人“亲爱的”了 什么时候开始的呢
我正在失去这些作为一个巨人痛失我的充实感她就在我眼前变化着所以她说：“妈妈，一起玩吗？”我回答：”可以。“这没有什么特别的我们一起玩 她的姐姐们也加入了我们 到处都是欢声笑语 我给她声情并茂地读了《每个人都便便》这本书 一切都很普通
And yet, it is extraordinary, because in mypain and my panic, in the homelessness of my humlessness, I have nothing to dobut pay attention. I focus. I am still. The nation I'm building, the marathonI'm running, the troops, the canvas, the high note does not exist. All thatexists are sticky fingers and gooey kisses and tiny voices and crayons and thatsong about letting go of whatever it is that Frozen girl needs to let go of.
但也很不普通因为我的痛苦 惶恐 无助和失去充实感的这些感觉 使得我除了转移注意力别无他法 我很专注 我很平静 那个我建造的国家 那个我正在跑的马拉松 那军队 那帆布 那些高歌 都不存在了 剩下的只有黏糊糊的手指， 湿乎乎的亲吻， 羸弱的声音和蜡笔 以及那首关于放手的歌 也不知道冰雪奇缘里那个女孩是要放弃什么
It's all peace and simplicity. The air isso rare in this place for me that I can barely breathe. I can barely believeI'm breathing. Play is the opposite of work. And I am happy. Something in meloosens. A door in my brain swings open, and a rush of energy comes. And it'snot instantaneous, but it happens, it does happen. I feel it. A hum creepsback. Not at full volume, barely there, it's quiet, and I have to stay verystill to hear it, but it is there. Not the hum, but a hum.
And now I feel like I know a very magicalsecret. Well, let's not get carried away. It's just love. That's all it is. Nomagic. No secret. It's just love. It's just something we forgot. The hum, thework hum, the hum of the titan, that's just a replacement. If I have to ask youwho I am, if I have to tell you who I am, if I describe myself in terms ofshows and hours of television and how globally badass my brain is, I haveforgotten what the real hum is. The hum is not power and the hum is notwork-specific. The hum is joy-specific. The real hum is love-specific. The humis the electricity that comes from being excited by life. The real hum isconfidence and peace. The real hum ignores the stare of history, and the ballsin the air, and the expectation, and the pressure. The real hum is singular andoriginal. The real hum is God's whisper in my ear, but maybe God was whisperingthe wrong words, because which one of the gods was telling me I was the titan?
只有宁静和简单工作时候的空气稀薄到我勉强可以呼吸我都不能相信我在呼吸玩耍则与工作完全相反而且我很快乐 我心里有个地方松动了 一扇门在我脑海里缓缓打开 一大股能量冲了进来 它不是转瞬即逝的 它真实的发生了 我能感觉到 那充实感退缩了 没有全部消失 但几乎不见了 它很安静 我不得不说我扔能听见它 它还在那里 不是那种充实感 却是另一种
It's just love. We could all use a littlemore love, a lot more love. Any time my child asks me to play, I will say yes.I make it a firm rule for one reason, to give myself permission, to free mefrom all of my workaholic guilt. It's a law, so I don't have a choice, and Idon't have a choice, not if I want to feel the hum.
现在我能感觉到我发现了一个神奇的秘密我们不要说的太远了这就是爱 仅此而已 一点都不神奇、不是秘密 就是爱 仅仅是有些我们忘记了的东西 那种充实感，从工作上获得的 从成为一个巨人获得的 都只是个替代品 如果我要问你我是谁 如果我要告诉你我是谁 如果我用电视节目来描述我自己 用电视节目的小时数 和我的大脑有多么国际化，多么牛掰， 那是因为我忘记了真正的充实感是什么 这种充实感不是权力 不是一定要与工作有关 而是有关于快乐的 是关于爱的 真正的充实是被生活激发出来的电流 真正的充实是自信与平和 真正的充实无视过去的注视 无视各种繁忙琐事 无视那些期待 那些压力 真正的充实是独一无二的、最原始的的 真正的充实是上帝在耳边的轻语 但也许上帝也会说错话 因为那么多神中的哪一个告诉我 我是巨人的呢？
I wish it were that easy, but I'm not goodat playing. I don't like it. I'm not interested in doing it the way I'minterested in doing work. The truth is incredibly humbling and humiliating toface. I don't like playing. I work all the time because I like working. I likeworking more than I like being at home. Facing that fact is incrediblydifficult to handle, because what kind of person likes working more than beingat home?
它只是爱我们都可以再多付出一点爱就会有更多的爱 每次我的孩子要我陪她们玩 我都会答应 我坚定地这样做有一个原因 给自己放个假 从各种工作狂的愧疚感中解放出来 这是必须做的 我没有别的选择 我没有别的选择 不是因为我想要那个充实感
Well, me. I mean, let's be honest, I callmyself a titan. I've got issues.
我希望它很简单但我不擅长玩耍 我不喜欢玩耍 我没有喜欢工作那样喜欢玩耍 这个事实让我感到惭愧和愧疚 我不喜欢玩耍 我一直在工作 因为我喜欢工作 我更喜欢工作多于待在家里 面对这样的事实非常非常难 因为什么样的人会喜欢工作胜于待在家里呢？
我这样的我是说 说实话 我叫自己巨人 但我也有自己的问题
And one of those issues isn't that I am toorelaxed.
We run around the yard, up and back and upand back. We have 30-second dance parties. We sing show tunes. We play withballs. I blow bubbles and they pop them. And I feel stiff and delirious andconfused most of the time. I itch for my cell phone always. But it is OK. Mytiny humans show me how to live and the hum of the universe fills me up. I playand I play until I begin to wonder why we ever stop playing in the first place.
You can do it too, say yes every time yourchild asks you to play. Are you thinking that maybe I'm an idiot in diamondshoes? You're right, but you can still do this. You have time. You know why?Because you're not Rihanna and you're not a Muppet. Your child does not thinkyou're that interesting.
我们绕着院子跑跑上跑下的 我们有30秒的舞会 我们唱流行歌曲 我们踢球 我吹泡泡然后她们戳破 我能感受到一些东西 但大部分时间我很困惑 我总是离不开我的手机 但这没关系 我的小人儿们教会我如何生活 这种最平常的充实感充满了我的内心 我和她们一起玩 然后不禁思考 我们当初为什么不再玩耍了呢
你也可以做到每当孩子要你陪他们一起玩的时候都答应你或许在想我是不是成了那个穿着水晶鞋的傻子没错 但你仍可以做到 你有时间 你知道为什么吗 因为你不是蕾哈娜也不是一个木偶 你的孩子并不会觉得你那么有意思
You only need 15 minutes. My two- andfour-year-old only ever want to play with me for about 15 minutes or so beforethey think to themselves they want to do something else. It's an amazing 15minutes, but it's 15 minutes. If I'm not a ladybug or a piece of candy, I'minvisible after 15 minutes.
And my 13-year-old, if I can get a13-year-old to talk to me for 15 minutes I'm Parent of the Year.
15 minutes is all you need. I can totallypull off 15 minutes of uninterrupted time on my worst day. Uninterrupted is thekey. No cell phone, no laundry, no anything. You have a busy life. You have toget dinner on the table. You have to force them to bathe. But you can do 15minutes. My kids are my happy place, they're my world, but it doesn't have tobe your kids, the fuel that feeds your hum, the place where life feels moregood than not good. It's not about playing with your kids, it's about joy. It'sabout playing in general. Give yourself the 15 minutes. Find what makes youfeel good. Just figure it out and play in that arena.
I'm not perfect at it. In fact, I fail asoften as I succeed, seeing friends, reading books, staring into space."Wanna play?" starts to become shorthand for indulging myself in waysI'd given up on right around the time I got my first TV show, right around thetime I became a titan-in-training, right around the time I started competingwith myself for ways unknown. 15 minutes? What could be wrong with givingmyself my full attention for 15 minutes? Turns out, nothing. The very act ofnot working has made it possible for the hum to return, as if the hum's enginecould only refuel while I was away. Work doesn't work without play.
你只需要15分钟即使是在我表现最不好的一天我也可以挤出15分钟不被打扰的时间不被打扰是关键 不要打电话 不要洗衣服 不要做其他任何事 你很忙 你要准备晚饭 你要催着他们去洗澡 但你仍可以有这15分钟 我的孩子们是我的乐土 她们是我的全世界但不一定要是你的孩子们 那个让你生活更充实的动力 那个让你感到生活更美好的地方 这不是因为和孩子们玩耍 而是关于快乐 是普遍意义上的玩 给你自己15分钟 找到什么让你感到更好 去弄清楚然后好好享受
It takes a little time, but after a fewmonths, one day the floodgates open and there's a rush, and I find myselfstanding in my office filled with an unfamiliar melody, full on groove insideme, and around me, and it sends me spinning with ideas, and the humming road isopen, and I can drive it and drive it, and I love working again. But now, Ilike that hum, but I don't love that hum. I don't need that hum. I am not thathum. That hum is not me, not anymore. I am bubbles and sticky fingers anddinners with friends. I am that hum. Life's hum. Love's hum. Work's hum isstill a piece of me, it is just no longer all of me, and I am so grateful. AndI don't give a crap about being a titan, because I have never once seen a titanplay Red Rover, Red Rover.
我在这方面并不擅长实际上 我失败的并不比我成功的少 拜访朋友 阅读 仰望星空 “一起玩吗？” 成为了使我放松自己的捷径 代替了我完成第一个电视节目的时候 代替了我变成巨人的过程 代替了我跟自己在各个方面较劲的时候 15分钟让我自己全身心的投入到这15分钟里又有什么错呢 结果是 没有错 恰恰是不工作使我找回了充实感就好像是”充实感“这个电动机 只有在我不在的时候才会加满油 如果没有娱乐 工作不叫工作。
I said yes to less work and more play, andsomehow I still run my world. My brain is still global. My campfires stillburn. The more I play, the happier I am, and the happier my kids are. The moreI play, the more I feel like a good mother. The more I play, the freer my mindbecomes. The more I play, the better I work. The more I play, the more I feelthe hum, the nation I'm building, the marathon I'm running, the troops,